Christ and Castles.

I have been having huge writers block.

I have started multiple posts about radiating happiness and love that I have felt this Christmas season, but none of them quite get it right.

How do I share what I feel without cutting my heart out of my chest and inserting it into yours . . . that may be a bit gory for a Christmas post, but that is the question I face.

I feel like I have been cheated. The season has ended too soon and I am not ready for it to already be over.

Everything about this season is magical. Everything. 

And lets face it, who doesn't love magic?

I have been thinking about magic a lot recently. Not the magic that turns mice into horses and allows teapots to sing but the magic that is of Christ and it brightens every life it touches.

The perfect kind of magic. 

I want it to last all year long.

. . . scratch that I want it to last for the rest of my life.

And in a way it can.

I want to deserve the magic.

Cinderella was patient, resilient, obedient and kind. Her happy ending came true.

So I will be Cinderella. 

I will do all I can to have the magic of Christ in my life everyday.

It is the season of Chirst.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas today!

It is a sad day when all the Christmas decorations get put away.
It makes the house feel empty and bare- like there is something missing.
I would love to say I am one of those people who love to clean, but I am not. . . actually I straight out suck at cleaning- I get too distracted with the things I am supposed to be putting away, I guess you could say I just don't have the attention span for such things.
However when it comes to cleaning up the Christmas stuff it isn't just the lack of enthusiasm it is the dread of acknowledging that the season is over-

Soon enough I will be back at school.
I probably won't be home again for a few months.
I am going to long for my family and wish I was in the security of my home again.
I am going to wish for the magic of Christmas.
The power and hope that this time of year brings.

My mom has started to pull out the boxes- the cages that house the Shepherds and Wise Men throughout all the summer months.  These boxes trap the Nutcrackers, and close off all the beautiful twinkle lights and smells.
I don't want Christmas to go away.  I wish I could take it to school with me.  I would shove it in the Durango and keep it there- then when days are rough and I need to find an escape I will hop behind the wheel and Christmas and I will go and have a light parade, we will remember Christ and have his strength and power that this season brings to my heart.

O wait- ha!  I can take Christmas with me!  (BOM)
Hope you have a Merry Christmas today!

To Christmas:

It is Christmas.

A perfect day, love and joy enclose the world- Peace on Earth.

Growing up Christmas was always exciting- the anticipation of running up the stairs to open the gifts that Santa would leave during the night was almost unbearable.  I remember all six of us (yes I would have been like four or five years old) lining up at the bottom of the stairway while Mom would say- "Not yet! Dad is going to the bathroom" or the regular "I am getting the camera ready!" Mean while I would be doing the pee dance knowing that in a few minutes I will look "forget" how badly I need to release my bodily waters.

I still look forward to Christmas and consider it as one of my favorite days of the year, but for different reasons.  Christmas is magical.  People are in a different mood, a splendid giving mood- I love that a person can do something simple and nice and not expect something in return but that love is the motivating factor.  Watching the glow in the faces of my nieces and nephew as they get caught up in the belief and magic of the season.  How simple the faith and how true the promise.  Nothing is a mystery on Christmas, it is just pure belief.  It is magic.

Christmas this year has really hit me hard.  Well I guess it wasn't really Christmas, but everything leading up to this beloved season.  I moved away this year- I have been introduced to a whole new world.  I have got a taste of living on my own, and I have noticed how much I have been blessed.  My life has been relatively easy, I would like to say that I have worked for most everything that I have, but I haven't I have been very blessed- and it took me moving away to notice.

I am so grateful for having the gospel in my life.  I was trying to imagine where I would be without those blessings and I can't.  I would be an entirely different person.  I am thankful for prayer, for knowing that when I kneel down I can receive answers and that the Lord is always listening to me.  Christ suffered the atonement for me, and for everyone so that one day we will return to him- I will forever be indebted to him.  I am thankful for the sacred covenants of the temple and I am anxious to make those someday with my eternal best friend.  My life is marvelous.  I have a marvelous family and this is a marvelous day and age where every choice could determine my who being.  

Merry Christmas Everyone.  

Challenge: Take the feelings and thoughts of this day with me throughout the year. 

merry christmas.

I am in love with Adobe Illustrator!  

I wasn't going to start the trial until after finals week- too much of a temptation.

However today after writing in my journal I decided that it wouldn't hurt to start the trial today!

I made you all a Christmas card.

(there may be more to come, but gosh I just needed something to do)

winter blues. already?

I think I suffer from the "Winter Blues" (aka: seasonal depression)
I desperately need sunshine!  I love the summer when I get to sit all day in the sun and feel the warmth of its light kiss my body.  I love breathing in the fresh air and enjoying myself in the good 'ol vitamin D that is absorbed through all of my pores.
I read in the Statesman (the USU newspaper) that seasonal depression is just a mental case, and it maybe- I wouldn't doubt it.  BUT my mental state says that snow=sadness.  BLAH!  Where oh where did my sunshine go?
On a positive note: I believe that I am my only cure and in turn I must push myself to see the positive perspective of things.

1) Today I went singing at the care center.  So much joy comes from that place- so much heart ache too.
-Eveylin made me simply happy, we sing to her every week, every week I hug her and asks if she remembers me- nope. But I find joy from her smile and her laugh and the way her face lights up every time we walk into her room.
-Parker talking to and elder lady who was enjoying herself in the hallway:
     Parker: "What is your name?"
     Elderly Lady: "Henryetta"
     Nurse: "No it's not!  Its Julie"
     Elderly Lady (with a big grin on her face): "Oh yeah!  That's it!"
-Singing while one of the residents played his harmonica
-Visiting the couple in the front who are always looking out the window.  The lady bundled up tight while sitting in her wheelchair and her husband sitting next to her grasping her hand- spending every moment he can just to be by her side.  True love.  I want that some day!
-Laughing at the man who owns the hallways on his motorized chair.  I don't know how he can maneuver that thing the way he does!  Amazing.
-The joy of music in the lives of so many people.  I love that even though some of the residents at the care center can't even remember their names or anything about themselves they still know the words to the hymns and sing them at the top of their lungs with us.  I love it.

2) The Christmas music that I am blasting in my ears right now!  I love the holidays.  I love that is is the holiday season once again.  I get to go home and see my family.  There is love everywhere.  It is almost like I can smell it in the air!

3) I am so thankful for the arts.  I went to the John Smicht concert on Saturday.  It was amazing.  People with such talent make me happy!  I would much rather go to a concert like that than to a rock concert any day.  It was marvelous- I am still in awe of the musician that that man is.

4) I love that people enjoy the pictures that I take.  I love that I can express the way I look at things through the photos I take.  I have always been a very deep thinker.  I analyze EVERYTHING and so everything I look at I take it in through so many different perspectives.

5) My roommates are amazing.  Even though I am feeling homesick this night I feel like they are my home away from home and I am so grateful for ALL of them!  I love them.

My life is great.  I have been blessed with so much and I am so happy.  It is easy to feel happy after making a list of things to be happy for. . . And now, as it always is when I am blogging late. . . I must go and type a three page research paper that is due tomorrow.  Talk about procrastination.  - And no, I have not started.