Tuesday, October 12, 2010

my goodness gracious!!

I can't believe this is happening to me!
Everywhere I turn the pressures are pushing down on me, not letting me escape, always threatening me. . . I guess you could say it is kind of like gravity.
I had been warned about these threats.
My cousins would tell me all about the horrors they face.
They would talk about not being able to hide or run fast enough to get away. . . 

What is this threat you may ask?  Well it is the threat and pressure of getting married.
This is one of those rare moments when I wish I was a boy at this moment of my life. . . I mean no nineteen year old LDS boy is being pressured with marriage. . . so why me?
Everywhere I turn a hurricane of marriage is tossing me around and it is driving me nuts!  Ah!
I am completely serious when I say that it is everywhere. . . 
So far we have received three wedding ring catalogs, every time I listen to Pandora there are wedding ring adds along with couple counseling adds.  The last few lessons at institute have been about marriage and at church there is always another girl announcing her engagement!  
I constantly get asked if I am dating anyone seriously or if I have been bombarded by any RMs yet.  
Give me a break!
Not all of it is pro-marriage either. . . 
I can't be the first one to get married in my graduating class.
I want to get my associates degree (at least). 
I want to serve an LDS mission.
I want to study abroad .
I want to be crazy college student who is carefree and wild (well as wild as I get. . . )
I want to please people with all the goals and ambitions that I set out to achieve.

For heavens sake I am only nineteen.
I have been to school for a total of half the semester.
Crazy.
I don't know what I want though. . .
What do people expect from me?
What do I expect from myself?
"Do what makes you happy."
SE Needham Rings

CLARIFICATION:  I am extremely excited to be married someday!  I am excited to have and eternal companion and to be part of the Lord's perfect plan of happiness! I can't wait to witness the miracles of life and to be a crazy, loving wife and mother!- but I am not ready for all of this right now, and whether I like it or not it is everywhere. . . 

3 comments:

tyandbrandie said...

Welcome to Mormon culture in the singles ward! I recall the very same thing happening to me. Thank goodness I soon was 21 and off on my mission -- best decision I ever made. It made me the mom and wife I am today! But follow the spirit and you can never go wrong. Good luck! Beautiful ring by the way!

Warrior Princess said...

it never stops. just be yourself. and you've got that in the bag girl! be true to you and the path that Heavenly Father wants you to take. :)and eventually you'll be able to brush the pressure aside or be used to it. lol. like me!!

Launa said...

Ignore it all you can. I felt the same way for a long time--that I was somehow broken because I didn't have a guy to hang on and a ring on the way. In hindsight, I am so sorry that I worried and wasted so much time wondering "if" it would ever happen. LIVE. Go on a mission, study abroad, travel. LIVE. Your life should never stop for someone else--especially an unknown someone at this point. You want the person who will slide seamlessly into the life you are already living. I am so happy that I didn't get married for a while--but I wish I would have understood that concept sooner.