I never thought it would be so hard. Leaving. Saying goodbye. I never anticipated this.
I have said goodbye to my fair share of missionaries- four older brothers, cousins and friends.
Never did I see this coming though-
Sunday morning I was able to make it home for General Conference. It was the first time I was able to go home since I moved to school. I walked through that familiar door way and was bombarded by the smells of Sunday dinner. My mother was in the kitchen and when she heard the door she made her way over to greet me. I didn't put anything down, but instead went right to her and hugged her. A flood of emotion hit me and I started to cry.
Then Mom started to cry. This made me cry harder.
The rest of the day I was a bucket full of tears.
Then yesterday I got this note forwarded to me.
Whoa whoa whoa... Relax... Relax ... Relax :)…………..Relax (breathe in and then after that breathe out) Smile! just do it. You have the worlds best smile and everytime you are all worried then no one sees it! so ... breathe!. Remember that you have made Huge promises with the Lord. The only thing he asks is that you do your part, and when you do that he will ALWAYS do his part. That means the rest of the whole world is out of your hands. The object of all this is to give your wholeself to the Lord, offer your whole soul as an offering to him (Check Omni) you do that by simply keeping the promises you have already made. Sounds simple right? In the process there will be speed bumps, and tough days and tears and sweat and scrapes and blood, but smile :) Because thats how you brighten a dark world. Tell her To be a good girl and God will Do the rest! Do your best until the end of the day, and then go talk to God about it as you kneel at your bedside :) he will give you comfort and the strength to continue, not to mention a full 8 hours to rest! So relax! dont stress! Worrying about others and about their welfare is a good thing, worrying about everything is a bad thing, and doesnt come from God. Remember you have a family to support you, a team of loyal followers, a Father in heaven who is NEVER absent, and a far off elder in Mexico to vent and complain too :) Tell her to sing "be still my soul" when she is sad or troubled, thats what i do almost daily. Tell her God Gave us a commandment in John to not let our hearts be troubled. Lets obey.
Sending missionary love.
I am now in the "month of lasts" and the reality of leaving is becoming real.
I am scared. Oh, I am so scared.
But then I remember my purpose for going on a mission.
The purpose is to serve the Lord and my fellow men.